I wanted to title this post “How To Look Great At The Beach This Summer…Or Die Trying”, but it doesn’t have to be that dramatic. I mean, it certainly feels that way. Just looking at Coachella fashion photos made me want to wear jumpsuits everywhere and give up caring about looking good. Then I reminded myself that those photos, pretty much ALL photos these days are Photoshopped and that if I want to be healthy, the only thing that’s holding me back is myself. And my slow metabolism genes. So, basically, just myself.
To skip to the bullet points, CLICK HERE*.
I’ve been “paleo” or whatever it’s called nowadays, since 2009. Sure, I’ve fallen off the hardcore paleo wagon many a time. In general, I was eating pretty healthy–mostly meats and vegetables with an occasional Proof Bakery pastry or soft serve thrown in. A couple years ago, I had a severe allergic reaction that started with hair dye and morphed into a mild look alike of Darth Vader’s face. More on that here. I started following a Candida Diet and have pretty much been eating that way ever since. Emphasis on “pretty much”.
Since moving back to LA 1.5 years ago, I’ve gained an easy 15 pounds. I don’t know what it is about this place: the shitty water and lack of it, the cost of high-quality food, the lack of places to walk, or the stress of living in a city where everyone is either manic or depressed. Or maybe it’s the proliferation of TONS of different new restaurants, cupcakeries, trendy matcha tea spots, rainbow unicorn ice cream, dumplings, and street hot chicken pop-ups. Then there’s the “craft” cocktail bars sprouting up in every hot neighborhood and all my friends calling me to drink there. <sarcasm> I just recently found out that clear spirits actually have calories, so there’s that. </sarcasm>
Maybe you can relate to some of these promiscuities or maybe you just stay at home and eat take out. Either way, a day of reckoning will come just like every year. SUMMER IS COMING.
*The way I see it, you have 2 options:
JUST OWN IT: Continue doing whatever you’re doing(or not doing). Put a swimsuit on, wear athletic wear instead of pants, hell, even sport a crop top on your inner tube.
START A REVOLUTION: Kick start your body! If you’re like me, you’ve normalized your routine to the point where you don’t even see the problem areas. G&T every night? No problem. Jack In the Box every weekend after bartending? Chill. Snacking on trail mix or Swedish Fish during movies? What? It’s not that bad. LIES! All LIES!
To really startle yourself into realizing just how crap you’ve been treating yourself, I say, give it all up. Give up the booze. Give up the sugar. Give up the fast food. Give up the nuts. No, not the nuts!! And work out. That’s the key–>get moving.
As you read this, I’m in the thick of The Whole 30 Program. Yes, this has been around for a long time. Yes, I’ve done stuff like this or even harder than this before. Maybe you have too. Maybe you haven’t. What really matters here is simple. The concept is called: GIVE A FUCK.
That is seriously all it takes. If you give a fuck, you will treat yourself well. It’s that simple and that hard. It’s hard because people around you will tempt the shit out of you all the time. That is because they don’t give any fucks. Those people are your partners, your friends, your co-workers, the media, and any and every kind of marketing you can imagine.
If it sounds like work to give a fuck, it is. It’s not fun or popular or easy. If you’re like, “Oh hell, no!”, I salute you. You know what you don’t want to do. Might I also suggest you check out this keychain that proudly displays your view. But if you actually want to change what you look like, more importantly, if you actually want to be healthy and feel better, start your revolution today!
I’m not saying you should do The Whole 30. Maybe you’re vegetarian. Maybe you’re vegan. Maybe you have bad gut flora. Figure out what works for you and get on that shit, woman.
I’ll be here taking care of myself for the next 30, you better believe.
For more info on The Whole 30, Click Here.
The Whole 30 Shopping List is HERE.